After seeing the picture of a co-worker's grandchildren, on the computer in the middle of class, a primary aged child asked me, "Do you have any kids?" I replied, "No, I don't." The child immediately asked, "Do you want to get some [kids]?" I smiled at the question, but my heart ached. I thought, if only it was that easy to have a child! Oh, the innocense of children.
It turns out "having a child" isn't working for us and "getting one" sounds easier; however, it is not. Because of our physical move recently, we have switched from adoption to foster-to-adopt. Initially, when I had first started thinking about adoption, I thought that sounded ideal, but it wasn't available to us then. Now, having seen and experienced the "foster care system" through work, I am less sure of fostering-to-adopt. Switching to foster-to-adopt feels like another hurddle in our course. I'm so afraid of possibly losing a child that will eventaully be placed with us. I'm afraid of how taking the child to his/her family visits will affect me. And it just feels like even once we get a placement, we will have 2 more years of unknowns and possible hearbreaks. I thought blogging about this today might help me, but as I look past tears, I guess that's enough for today. Anyone who has foster-to-adopted have any advice? Hope? Encouragement on this path?
Thanks.
