I am still here...

As I finally got into my blog again after losing my password (LOL), I read my last post from 2012 and laughed. I laughed not at what I'd written, but at the fact that God answered my heart's desire in so many ways, even in the most silly and simple yearnings.
[Child mentioned.]
We have a son who came to us through the foster-to-adopt process at just a little over a month old and we were able to adopt him before his second birthday. (That is the short version of the story.)
The comments we received when people from my past (who did not know we were fostering or adopting) would see us in public were, "He looks just like your side of the family!" For several months, he looked like he could have been a brother to my nephew at that age.
I know that ultimately, it doesn't matter whether he or any of our other future children look like us, but I just find it amazing to see the ways in which God answered my plea that show His fingerprints on our family. Here are a few:
My son's middle name when he came to use was my husband's name.
The meaning of my son's first name was a significant too response to our prayers too.
Partway through the foster-adopt process, I was given a keepsake box from his birth mother that contained his hospital crib card, ID bracelet, etc. I took one look at it and cried, knowing without a doubt that it was my mother's handwriting!!! My mother is a nurse at the hospital he was born at and would have seen him the day he was born (although none of us had any idea he existed and would eventually become our son). How many adopted children can tell that story?

I hope that if you are still in the process of dealing with infertility or the foster or adoption process that this gives you hope. God has plans for our lives that are far bigger than we can see, but He still cares about our heart's cries.

Waiting in too many ways...

Well, we left our jobs in late November and we sold our house and moved then too. We tried to de-stress and relax over the Christmas season with family. Later we then went on a cruise to really relax. (Which was wonderful!) Now we are continuing the job hunt. Not usually do both spouses quit and leave their job at once unless they already have something else planned (seems crazy!)...but due to the unique nature of the job we were in together, that's what we did. It feels like we've taken a hundred steps backward instead of forward. Our adoption process is basically complete and we're ready and waiting pretty much, except for the fact that all that is on hold due to not knowing where we will live and what jobs we will take. My husband has been offered a temporary job for about 6 months. We may take that for now just to put us in the area we want to live in. We're still deciding. While it has been nice to be off, it isn't under ideal circumstances. I want to be off with children. It feels like the time is somewhat wasted because I feel like I should be doing fertility treatments or adoption stuff or something useful...but everything is at a stand still until we decide where to live and find jobs! I am trying not to take the time forgranted and do things I want to do, like creative things (quilt, make necklaces, photography), but it is hard not to focus on what I don't have (a child, a job, a house, our close friends living locally, a sense of being settled somewhere, etc.) I need to quit trying to understand WHY God has us where he does right now and not be sorry for myself and just trust. It's hard. We've been trying for 5 years now.

Waiting

Well, I had thought things were moving along quickly with this IUI, but it's slowed up now. I'm waiting for my estrogen to get high enough. Follicle and all else seems good though. Soon....soon!

My husband and I have both realized that we did not give enough credit to the hormones I've been taking. They totally mess me up!!! I have a meltdown and cry about anything and everything, no matter how stupid or small. I am definately not myself. It will be a relief when this round is over. I'm not sure how long I can handle this IF stuff. It is overwhelming. Thankfully the IUI will be before I head back to work full-time. I am hopeful, yet also afraid to be hopeful.

I have joined a forum that I know some of you know about, Hannah's Prayer. It has been a huge encouragement already to be connecting with others walking the same types of path we're on. It has been an answer to prayer.

I've started back to work part-time. It feels like it is going slowly (the hormones don't help). It does feel good to be a professional again though. Guess that means I'm ready to go back.

I've started doing a 365 days of photographs challenge. I'm taking a pic a day (well, more than one, but choosing the best one) and posting it on a blog I started. I'm almost a week in and it is great! The other day at work, I just couldn't wait to get home and take my pics for the day. It's something creative that will bring me hope and health. It's my creative side that gets swept under the rug with the stress of work. Besides simply nurturing my creative side, it will also improve my photography skills. I'm shooting my second offical wedding this summer. Got to keep learning! :)