Longing and Longing and Begging...

I held a friend's newborn baby last night. He is so beautiful and tiny! While I am glad for them and thankful he's here and healthy, I struggle with thoughts of why they have been given 4 children and I'm just dying for 1. I think it makes it harder that a lot of people I know who are younger than me have "full families" already by my age or younger. (I know, we're a family already, just the two of us - and our two international university students that live with us.) With big smiles, I have referred to them as "our kids" before even though they are adults. :) We do treat them like family, though.

In some respects, I am starting to feel a little better than I was a month ago. It just depends on the day. (I guess I'm also not hopped up on crazy hormones right now either.) I still have a long way to grow though. We meet with our doctor this week to talk about what is next.

I just came back from the gym. I had been generally doing 2 workouts a week and now I'm going to try for 3 plus walks on other days. It's good once I get there and I always feel better, but it's just hard to get there sometimes. I'm sure you know what I mean.

Since being off work, I have began to enjoy cooking. It's been a long time since I could say that. I've tried 11 recipes now from the "Crazy Plates" cookbook. I've really enjoyed it. I've even made lists of things for recipes I need when I go shopping, which I never do! Imagine that! Anyhow...that's brought some joy to my days.

I just wanted to say thanks to my first commenter and follower! :) Your comment brightened my day.

Although lots of people I'm close to know what we're going through, I'm not comfortable with posting my blog to everyone I know, so I am hopeful to meet some fellow bloggers who know what I'm going through and maybe I can even encourage someone else in their walk.
Still longing...somewhat patiently today, at least.
~ Patiently Waiting